Forgive Me, Dear

A YESTERDAY ENTRY 12th May

Had been thinking quite a lot these days......

Many things to do that really need to upgrade myselves after much motivation soak up in my tiny brain.

1 Dream, I feel like venturing into the ladies market of CLOTHES BUSINESS!!! That's doing some home business. Thought of my wardrobe is like a mess & the clothes are over-kept. Some are out-dated but maybe to the younger age people, I can still market them. Some clothes for ladies is never worn. Maybe the first glance U like it, 2nd glance U bought it, 3rd glance U never wear it, 4th glance it’s outdated. So the 5th glance is..... garang guni to me & I'll sell them!!! Not to my market, but for the youngster where last time we also go through that "UGLY" stage before! Ha-ha... so some clothes certain got that feeling "YEEEEE......WHY WOULD THE HELL I WORE THIS CLOTHE BEFORE?" Holy-sHiT!!

I don’t know, it’s just a bright idea I thought when I woke up one day. I think I got some ideas running in my head. Hope I can earn @ least some money with this plan soon.

2 Dream, after July when my bf went to study, that’s a good time to learn driving lesson also. By the time, I should have saved enough money. When I got my license, it’s time to go one step further for owning a dream car. Seems like Honda Fit is our candy-eye now. Especially the posh-white & looks miniature yet classy. Most important is comfy!

3 Dream, thought of working can really @ least have some extra cash that can do whatever you wish. Life has to be more hardworking but time is really never enough. Even the time for dating is so limited. Work & work like a bloody cow……… sigh* But the initial salary is damn low, can never get me to nowhere. I must open up my tiny mind to think about more good ideas so that I can have grown some colours in the company. (Yeah, if ever Im rich, I’d open a travel agency like farmosa, muahaha—low cost labour yet high earnings) But Tourist Mobile future prospect seems so vague. What to do…I think I must really buck up my ass….. Stop being a “simply bo chup” person. Hah!

4 Dream, I always want to learn cooking but really not enough time. By the time I reached home, it’s time to sleep. Still cook what cook??? Grandma also sleeping time already! WAH sian! Weekend??? Where got time? I still need to be weekend cleaner….hah!…Dating also not enough……. *shakes big head*

Dream on, god pls spare us more time but give us more youth with wealth, he’ll be the breadwinner of the house & I’ll be your full-time housewife, Promise!!!


A TODAY ENTRY 13th May

Today I totally made my bf sad. It’s a total humiliation of myself. Because of itchy hands, because of itchy heart, because of a stupidity in me. Really must go bang the wall already! I’m sorry for being jealous last night(its normal what, don’t jealous den means what? I don’t bother u?) I’m sorry for causing you to drive recklessly. U are total out of your mind. Its all because I kept mum all these while à my “SBC” attitude made u madness. What to do, I just a pure person who doesn’t kept troubles. I’m willing to delete everything you hate to see. I hate to see you sad, I hate to see you insomnia whole night, I hate you to hurt yrselves, I hate you to shout at me, I hate you to say me becos the whole world can scold me but not you. But I hate you to smoke(you quit for me, BUT My heart really drowns the moment I see how stress I done to you today). WHY WOULD I LIE? LIE to make you in this state? IM NOT HAPPY, NOT PROUD, BUT A TOTAL SHAME! First time I cried infront of you which I don’t want to. What a detest act!!!! Its all because how I realize all these while you been super 101 percent thoughtful to me. You love to ask “all your previous boyfriends got treat you like that”? (Muz be angry because I type this!) I said YES to everyone here reading it. Though u lie to yrselves how your appearance made u look unattractive. BUT it’s not the appearance; it’s not this thing that bother me at all. It’s your complete thinking & helps me to plan everything. God helped me to send you to take care of me the next life. It’s true. You might be feeling severe shyness at this moment. But I always said “ its my blog, my entries, my feelings, I told them” I LOVE YOU MOST. 3 months, 2 hearts, 1 love… happily ever after with you only.

My tears include what had happen to Bro, Im not happy & I’m terrified that you can’t sleep well, you can’t live well. I know how hard you had been just to give the best to your loved ones. Please don’t do this again. I’m afraid.


OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!