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It's been 45months..
How naive i could be to believe that he loves me deeply..
How naive i could be to gave all my everything in this relationship..
How naive i could be to carry with a everlasting love when everything seems to be so wonderful..
Everything seems to be so fine tt night & i just called him normally for night chat YET........A fine night yet i couldnt slp.. i haven cried so heavily before, look, my eyes are swollen, my head is full of the words we said tonight.. full of regrets & hatredness on myself.
6 Days to my trip to HK with him which is exactly our 45months anniversary...Now, dreams are vanished juz like that. How could he be so unfair to me just because he wanted to pursue his dreams, go to army, go NUS & finally leave me is what he want. He's afraid to lose me before his army & wanted to get clear with me & say millions of harsed words as i smiled & console him over the phone. He want to fly out of his cage & noe more pple outside, wanted to married only aft 30yrs. And ME? Want early marriage.. i really dont mind waiting but he told me i was too naive somehow... ask me not to let him restrict my life. He want to go overseas to have his career, studies, "U wan to follow me meh, u also have your own dreams, Its impossible for us to love forever .." How HEARTBREAK i was at this very moment... AND he kept saying & saying. Time is 3+a.m.
Yes! i know. We still young, we still have many journeys to go...... BUT why cant u just treasure me now??? WHYYYY..... Y he kept saying he wan to think, dun force him, what had happen to him??
In this relationship, he tried hard so hard to love me, NOW, he tried so hard to explain how hard he want to leave me. How could anyone in a relationship take this blow..
10 over messages were sent to him & i only get 4 replies telling me not to force him, we will not break up! WHAT!!!! I never force him at all. How sad i am...and where could i ever find any buddies to lend me a shoulder, my heart just went beating slower & slower..tears are like free flow...................... 5 pkts of tissues are wasted
Although in the beginning, we have some problems & seldom quarrel & find tt wat la!!!!@#$%^&, how could he be my bf for so long..think we wont go for long wan lor,tt's what i feel. BUT as time goes, begins to find tt he's a good guy, always give in,always do what i wanted, he had no objections as long as im happy. And I'm really happy to have him besides my life, his eventually part of my body. All the messages he sent me, i kept, i take so serious for every sms he typed. YET........... now .............. i left with nothing. Even he told me he need time to think over, he wun break with me, but how could i ever stand up again to love him.. .. .. Even it is, How fragile this love is & felt like moments is like dissolving soon & everything turned out to be lies. So much for my ending?
"Life is meaningless, unfair, always one gained & one lost. AND nv expects, fate still gave me such an end. Nothing is truthful to me again. How much I Love U is now kept somewhere & U will never know. U choose to give up because u want to go your own way. What about me?
Thankful to what u did &....... guess after this, life is not going to be good for me."
Never felt like this before.. .. ..
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